Most people have ever had unrealistic expectations. On occasions we think that a great and unforgettable life experience will be provided by a journey, but we are disappointed deeply with the awaiting reality. Sometimes the time to travel is underestimated grossly by us, and some unwelcomed misery we encounter as a result (like no food to ease our hunger, needing a bathroom stop, or running out of fuel). We unrealistically may expect the driver to perfectly follow the roads’ rule, and our consequent inattention results in a major collision because of defensive driving. Whether our experience is a venture into relationships ordown the road a brief trip , there is one certain principle: a dependence is an open invitation upon unrealistic expectations to the disappointment and even disaster. Traveling with unrealistic expectations can be a heartbreaking, health-threatening, and head-shaking experience without a doubt through life.
However, we can do better. As our past relationship failures are assessed and admitted by us, the growth process begins to gain wisdom from our past mistakes. All of our requirements can’t be met by any relationship partner.
For any two people entering into a relationship in even the majority of areas of their lives, it is rare to have been raised in a similar fashion. For us, we are used to be normal. For example, If your mother was a stellar house cleaner, you would have a similar expectation, particularly to your own wife. However, if she doesn’t have the same diligence as you do, problems could be caused by it.
When we enter a relationship, Too often, immediately our own ideas are imposed on what is bad and good solely based on what is the norm for us or what we are used to. Often This is a mistake as the expectations of the other person and yourself will likely clash.
Generally we are self-critical as well, when we expect from others too much. The jury and judge of our behavior are the inner critic. We are filled with mandates like “why didn’t you”, “how could you”, “you must”, “you ought to”, and so on. Often, we make friends feel defective and project it onto others, instead of taking control of our critic. The same critical terminology may be used by us on our friends. To take responsibility for our critic is always a good thing. We must understand its history, listen to it, and learn to give up its demands to approach our friendships with realistic expectations.
It is the result of being exposed or living through a harsh traumatic experiences to make us from the more common unrealistic expectations. Such as, a child suffering discipline of military style by her parents grows up sometimes vowing to treat her own children in such a manner. Or due to a careless lifestyle, a spoiled child suffering social repercussions may vow to discipline his own children, so they don’t commit or suffer his indiscretions.
The love in one partner is the same only at rare moments as that in the other. Priorities for each partner are changing continually. It may not always be a priority that the integrity of the Union is. One of your basic human rights can’t be taken away by a truly loving relationship. Intimate relationships for ever-changing ratios of distance and closeness survive best with constant permission. Space is included for you in the best relationship to pursue individual choices, and to any threat your partner may feel, to be compassionately attentive.
When begins a romantic relationship, the partners may be oblivious to the weaknesses of each other. Often disowned energy in the relationship may be carried out by our partner. Such as, a mate may be free-spirited or impulsive. In the beginning, the other partner may value this quality that in their behavioral repertoire may be lacking. Energy can be brought by these complementary qualities during the early stages of courtship to the relationship. However, in the relationship later, the quality may become a liability instead of an asset.
If we are not good at science, we don’t aspire to become a biologist, if we cannot hold a musical note, we don’t aspire to become a singer. As a result, how can we expect a behavior or lifestyle from our partner that they are unable to provide.
Be sure that the limitations of your relationships are understood by you. By this, others in any particular area who are not as strong as you need to be recognized by you. On their part, this is not a failing, merely a strength on yours. You can’t judge them the same way, not fair it is. You can hold yourself to the standard, but not others.
Remember, you must be realistic when setting expectations for your relationship. The innate capabilities and qualities of your partner will not change because of unrealistic expectations you set for them. A lifetime of happiness and love will be helped to create in your relationship because of realistic expectations.
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