Why are good girls attracted to bad guys? It’s also the title of a well-known punk rock song from the early 2000s, and millions of men in contemporary society struggle with it.
Even though this affection is frequently fleeting, the men who feel as though they are doing everything right and are still being rejected repeatedly may find it to be extremely frustrating.
However, I’m going to debunk the bad boy stereotype today and walk you through the process of becoming the kind of man who can combine the best traits of both archetypes to attract women over the long term as well as in the short term.
Why Women Date Bad Boys
Women Love The Chase Just As Much As Men
Contrary to popular belief, many women also enjoy the thrill of the chase. Although the game-playing can become very monotonous, a bad boy who plays it well can draw women in like no other. So why does it appeal to us so much? In a nutshell, mystery is appealing. It is frustratingly alluring to be drawn to a man who we cannot immediately identify. We hope even more that he cares if he displays a lack of concern. We wonder why if he isn’t available. It’s twisted and sick, but it’s sadly true in many instances.
Bad Boys Are Perceived As Attractive In The Media
I’m not sure if life is imitating art, or vice versa, but the stereotypical bad boy appears frequently on our screens and in our music. The phenomenon is widespread in our culture, and even when it isn’t explicitly portrayed favorably, it conveys the impression that these men are attractive and desirable. We become aware of this without even realizing it, and men are no exception.
It Can All Start With A Look
Studies have shown that women are more attracted to “proud” or “angry” expressions, rather than smiley ones. This might seem strange, but it adds to the mystery. We have to know more.
Bad Boys Are More Fun And Exciting To Be With
I had a friend named John when I was in high school. John was the neighborhood wrecker. He would take advantage of any opportunity to practice fighting because he loved it so much. We would hear a story about John getting into a fight at least once per week, and we would all go watch if he actually got into one.
John was popular with lots of attractive women. If they were with him, they knew he would eventually find some drama and a reason to fight.
These girls simply enjoyed being around the excitement and drama of it all; they had no desire to see John fight or suffer harm. They preferred to remain near the center of attention. After all, John picked her over all the other girls to date. This explains why supposedly nice girls are drawn to rappers, street racers, thugs, and criminals.
Brings Out The Side We Never Knew We Had
Being around bad boys who have a wild side could lead to some adventures. Even the most cautious women yearn to let loose and act irrationally.
Bad Boys Liberate Women From Being Good Girls
The second, and most frequently ignored, reason why women choose bad boys is that they feel free and liberated in these relationships.
For most of human history, women were forced into a stereotypical role that required them to be “good little girls” who sat down, shut up, and listened to the man. Even in our modern and “liberated” culture, many women still feel the pressure to conform to a specific mold that is often opposed to who she really is.
So when a bad boy enters her life and gives her permission to be a “bad girl” herself, it makes him dangerously attractive.
He gives her the freedom to break free and express herself how she wants, despite how unhealthy their dynamic is.
Being herself comes naturally to her. so that she can speak freely about her darker side. being the woman she had always wanted to be but was afraid others would reject.
How To Become The Grounded Man Women Truly Crave
Now that you have a basic understanding of the traits and behaviors that set bad boys apart from the Nice Guys, the question remains:
What does it entail to integrate grounded masculinity behaviors and traits?
How can you marry together the best of the bad boy and the Is it possible for Nice Guy to develop into the kind of man that women adore and find irresistible?
Speak Your Truth
Few other men have the willingness to speak their truth without embarrassment or hesitation, which is one quality that bad boys have. There is little distinction between what so-called bad boys think and say, indicating that they don’t give a damn what people think of them.
And the reason this quality is so alluring is because it fosters trust. The majority of men will quickly alter their beliefs in an effort to please the women they are interested in.
They avoid disagreeing with her at all costs and will never call her out on bad behavior or inaccurate beliefs.
However, doing so demonstrates to women their lack of credibility. How can they be trusted when it really matters if they won’t tell the truth about something as insignificant as their political opinions, musical preferences, or dietary preferences? The reality is that most men will tell lies until they are blue in the face in an effort to win a woman’s favor.
Put Yourself First
Many men fall into the myth that women desire a martyr. That they’re attracted to men who will sacrifice themselves for her love and affection and give up everything to make her happy.
However, most women don’t, the truth be told. And even if they do, this exchange is never worth it. A man loses his ability to entice a woman when he cedes his authority to her.
Because not only does he rescind his role as a leader inside of the relationship, but he forces her to lead everything. If she is the purpose of his life, she now has the pressure to do everything herself. She now bears the burden of his fulfillment of his purpose and his happiness.
He starts to rely on her for affirmation and approval. Instead of two lovers co-creating an epic life, it makes the relationship feel more like that of a parent and a child.
Create A Container Of Safety
Applying this principle in your own life doesn’t require you to pick fights or start pointless conflicts, as bad boys who are at ease with aggression do to create a sense of safety. Instead, you can use your ability and leadership to build a safe space.
For example, when it comes to date night, most men will defer to their partner and ask them “So, what do you want?”Again, this puts pressure on her to make choices and manage the relationship, which is acceptable in moderation but draining when it becomes a consistent pattern.
A much more attractive frame is to take charge and simply tell her, “We have reservations for that new Italian restaurant for tonight, and when we’re done, I’ve got a surprise in store for you. Wear that black dress you like, and be ready at seven.”
By leading the relationship, you create a sense of trust and security and slowly build her confidence that you can not only handle her and the relationship but any challenges that life brings your way.
Conclusion
It’s not simple to change yourself into the kind of man women want in order to have the relationship you want. It’s not for the weak of heart or those who are reluctant to push themselves outside of their comfort zone.
But if what I said today struck a chord with you and you’d like to know more about the work Knowledge for Men does, I’d like to invite you to view this free training I put together to assist men in becoming the strongest versions of themselves.